Recently I subdued in almost everything that I normally do everyday, even on the areas where I didn’t need any pushing to do. I got busy with necessities, always a toll when it comes to my rolling momentum meeting a hump along the way.
Here’s what happened..
Yes I said I got busy and it’s true but another reason is slowing down on purpose because of the blows of frustrations.
Being said all that, there was this day when I got a message from a friend and it wasn’t a pleasant news, I was staring at her message and decided to reply “It’s alright, that happens” and in that moment I felt better because I usually don’t say that. Surprisingly it’s helpful😊
I thought of writing down the ways that helped me got over stresses like this over this week. This is not a master list nor an expert’s advice, It’s my new found way to ease the burden of a heavy heart.
How do we cope with disappointments?
1. Slow down
You read it right. Try to recall the time when frustration hit you the most. More often than not it’s exactly when you’re heightened with too much of positivity and expectations. Not that positivity is bad but come on, let’s not over do it, too much of it is another way of putting yourself in fairytale where all things ends in happy ending. Instead be enthusiastic with break pads under your emotion as a reminder that there are tons of answers in the world; a Yes, No, later, backed out, uninterested etc. Be prepared for it.
2. Look after yourself
I learned it in a hard way. Whenever people, whom you thought are your reliable trusted friends (to be specific) are the one’s who caused a disappointment it was never easy to just shrug it off. Especially when all you were expecting is the honesty and the candor of telling you their reason why and not just ignore you and pretend as if you will not know anyway (that’s upfront beating my friend)
So what do you do?
Give yourself a pat in the shoulder and focus on your strength to understand that we all think and act differently. Some are sensible, honest, frank, values the reply, value friendship thru honesty, value their morals to speak truth rather than pretend, value your spent time with them, conscientious etc. not everyone think and behave the same as you so if those abovementioned traits runs in you, celebrate! You are far better person! And that’s something you can be proud of yourself.
3. Pull out strength from loved ones and Inspiring friends.
Believe it or not, this is the time where you’ll be revealed who are the keepers. But know that you can just count them on your fingers. I got by because of these people who gave me a heads up on how they handle it. Knowing that they also went through an emotional roller coaster just like me means I’m normal. I happened to read a post from my leader Jenny about her quitting and it struck me, I was told by a friend that disappointment are best friends of successful people and another friend who says Pray for strength to continue then simply shake it off and move on. Difficult but just do it, there is no other option is there?
4. Asses the situation
This is a forgotten rule. We overlooked the fact that situations vary from people to people so it’s also good to take a pause and know the person whom disappointed you. They aren’t the same at all.
A. Did they lie? If not and just having a hiatus in replying back, probably the person is just caught between situations and can’t find the right word to say it without hurting you. That is considerably a thoughtful gesture. If you knew the person that well and hasn’t done anything like this ever since then give the person a break. They’ll even thank you for understanding and relieving them of burden. Let them know you really are a friend.
B. Did they kept it from you? And pretend you won’t notice?
If yes, that’s a sign that they purposely choose to dispel you. Well, it happened a lot of times to me already esp the pretense of declining bec. she does not need it at all but at the time of my follow up to see if she’s ready she already got one from someone else, but adamantly telling me they are ok without it. It was a tremendous disbelief for me. I can’t comprehend the thought of lying on someone’s face when an opportunity to say they chose to get it from someone else bec. it’s their choice is ultimately better.
What do you do then? Go ahead tell them nicely you were waiting only to find out that they just committed themselves to someone else, bid them goodbye and wish them the best.
Purpose? You’ve let the person know you trusted her/him and it allowed yourself to unleashed the pain that weighs you down by being frank.
C. Will these incident define my purpose in what i pursue?
Ask yourself that question. If the answer is no! Then don’t sweat it. Not everyone believes in the same thing. Don’t judge their choices, if you love what you do, continue. There will always be skeptics or just not into it or maybe they aren’t ready yet; Accept the differences.
But remember, there will always be people with the same belief and passion as you. You’ll find them eventually.
Let go. Can’t carry it around while doing the things you love to do. That’s an excess baggage, travel light as they say. On your way along with probably more disappointments, you are sure to pick up the best ones too. You may find new people and opportunities so it’s better to save a space for it.
Di not forget to just keep enjoying what you love to do and not depend on the ones that did not support you but the ones you’ll about to find or those who are already traveling with you.
Do you have your own experience to tell? Share it it the comment and tell us how you coped up? Let’s help uplift one another.
Have a great week ahead.